Day 70 - I don't get it... ok, maybe I do

I had another chemo this week. I was mentally ready to feel like hell. Well, although I did puke several times at the hospital, I felt pretty good during the day. And the recovery was without a doubt the best one so far. Given the brief history of feeling crappy after chemo, a quick recovery was certainly unexpected. Although I was pretty good with my diet lately, I think I know what I did different this time.

A friend of mine used to live in Belgium. Apparently they have a miracle water fountain there (I tried to google it, but I couldn't find any references to it). It is located somewhere that was often used as a battlefield during one of the great wars and miracles were witnessed there. Today they have a park there and people from all over the world go there to get some holy water. My friend tells that you can see wheelchairs and crutches that people left behind because they got cured.

Anyway, her brother, who still lives in Belgium, came to Brazil and brought a few bottles of this miracle water. A couple of them found their way into my kitchen. My friend told me to drink a glass of it a day while praying. Although I have never been famous for going to church, or even praying, I decided to give it a shot. So before my chemo, I had some of the water and I asked God for strength.

I arrived at the hospital and the nurse was setting me up to start my chemo. I was thinking about the whole holy water story and I repeated mentally my prayer. That was when I felt something: I felt shivers followed by a comforting warmththe over my entire body. After that, I somehow knew for sure that I was going to be fine during and after chemo. I am pretty sure I will never be able to explain that. Despite my skepticism towards church in general, I can't help feeling much closer to God after this experience.

I won't bend. I won't break.