I would like to believe that chemo was much rougher this time because I didn't follow my diet, or because I didn't drink the teas that I had been drinking. But for some reason I know it had nothing to do with that. My body is just not liking the poison.
This time I started puking even before they started giving me the drugs. According to the head nurse, some people react that way, period. Just the smell of the hospital made me sick. So I vomited countless times, until I had nothing left in my stomach to throw up. On top of feeling pretty rough, I couldn't help to feel angry at myself. I was mad because my body was taking chemo that roughly.
The next day was also pretty rough. Although I didn't throw up (which I am not sure if it's good or bad), I felt pretty ill all day long. Well, I was still angry at myself. Then I had a good conversation with Raquel about that; she argued that it just doesn't make sense to be mad. I have no control over how well (or poorly) my body takes the drugs and I should try to keep my spirits high, instead of being pissed off.
So I will try my best to do that from now on. In the mean time, pissed off or not, I will not bend. I will not break.
sexta-feira, 23 de janeiro de 2009
Days 45 to 52 - Simple pleasures
I went to Rio for a week with Raquel and her family. It had nothing to do with exams or my condition. It was about relaxing and that's exactly what we did. We stayed at an apartment in Barra beach, literally 100 feet from the ocean. The view is pretty spectacular from there. Although the place we stayed sounds a little fancy (well, it was), this post is about the simple things we often take for granted, like riding waves.
During the whole week we hung out with my good friends from Canada Alyece, Erin and Elron. We did touristy stuff in Rio, some pretty cool, some sort of lame. But the good part was hanging out and catching up with them.
I have been following a pretty strict diet, hoping that it will help my body to fight the disease. Although it's for a greater good, eating healthy ALL the time is tiring, to say the least. So I decided to not follow the diet while I was in Rio. Lord, how I enjoyed that! There's this place called Outback (I think it's an Australian chain). They have some pretty kick-ass BBQ ribs (not the healthiest thing one can eat) - I always loved those and had been thinking about them for a while. It wasn't the best tasting meal I ever had (although it was pretty good), but I don't remember feeling so much pleasure during a meal.
The trip was really good. It was so good that I actually forgot that I am sick. I think that has to do with all those simple pleasures of life that I hadn't been able to feel, like eating, hanging out with friends, or going to the beach. I will no longer take those simple things for granted, that's for sure. And I am sure that will make me learn how to appreciate them even more. Try that with me, treasure the simple pleasures that life has to offer, I have the feeling that you'll be much happier.
I won't bend. I won't break.
During the whole week we hung out with my good friends from Canada Alyece, Erin and Elron. We did touristy stuff in Rio, some pretty cool, some sort of lame. But the good part was hanging out and catching up with them.
I have been following a pretty strict diet, hoping that it will help my body to fight the disease. Although it's for a greater good, eating healthy ALL the time is tiring, to say the least. So I decided to not follow the diet while I was in Rio. Lord, how I enjoyed that! There's this place called Outback (I think it's an Australian chain). They have some pretty kick-ass BBQ ribs (not the healthiest thing one can eat) - I always loved those and had been thinking about them for a while. It wasn't the best tasting meal I ever had (although it was pretty good), but I don't remember feeling so much pleasure during a meal.
The trip was really good. It was so good that I actually forgot that I am sick. I think that has to do with all those simple pleasures of life that I hadn't been able to feel, like eating, hanging out with friends, or going to the beach. I will no longer take those simple things for granted, that's for sure. And I am sure that will make me learn how to appreciate them even more. Try that with me, treasure the simple pleasures that life has to offer, I have the feeling that you'll be much happier.
I won't bend. I won't break.
sábado, 10 de janeiro de 2009
Day 43 - Good Recovery from Chemo
After my first chemo, I was joking around with a buddy (Drew) saying that I had had hangovers worse than chemo. We even talked about making t-shirts with that line. Well, let's just say that no longer stands. 3 days ago I had another chemo session and it was not nice to me, to say the least.
The first 3 or 4 hours were definitely the worst. For starters, my veins are already in a bad shape. It's hard for the nurses to find them with the needles. Not too mention that my veins sometimes can't take the needles and the nurses need to try again somewhere else. Having said that, the nurse only found a suitable vein after 3 attempts.
Then they started giving me the roughest medicine, which is called decarbazine. It's pretty aggressive and apparently my body isn't tolerating it very well. As soon as they started injecting it in me I started vomiting. Since it takes like 3 hours for it to finish, I vomited a lot on Wednesday morning. By a lot I mean more than 10 times. There was simply nothing else for me to throw up, really.
The good news is that it was actually better to go through that little bit of hell. As soon as I was done with Decarbazine I stopped feeling ill and the aftermath was much better. I even had a full dinner when I got home after the hospital. The following days were good too. I felt pretty healthy. In fact, I am flying to Rio in a couple of days for a little vacation, should be fun.
Sorry Drew, I won't make a t-shirt saying "I've had hangovers worse than chemo". But I will probably make one saying "I won't bend. I won't break."
The first 3 or 4 hours were definitely the worst. For starters, my veins are already in a bad shape. It's hard for the nurses to find them with the needles. Not too mention that my veins sometimes can't take the needles and the nurses need to try again somewhere else. Having said that, the nurse only found a suitable vein after 3 attempts.
Then they started giving me the roughest medicine, which is called decarbazine. It's pretty aggressive and apparently my body isn't tolerating it very well. As soon as they started injecting it in me I started vomiting. Since it takes like 3 hours for it to finish, I vomited a lot on Wednesday morning. By a lot I mean more than 10 times. There was simply nothing else for me to throw up, really.
The good news is that it was actually better to go through that little bit of hell. As soon as I was done with Decarbazine I stopped feeling ill and the aftermath was much better. I even had a full dinner when I got home after the hospital. The following days were good too. I felt pretty healthy. In fact, I am flying to Rio in a couple of days for a little vacation, should be fun.
Sorry Drew, I won't make a t-shirt saying "I've had hangovers worse than chemo". But I will probably make one saying "I won't bend. I won't break."
Assinar:
Postagens (Atom)
