Day 193 - I guess I lied

So in the beginning of this series of posts I said I'd use this to vent my thoughts, talk about my fears and the treatment... I guess I lied. Don't get me wrong, I did that for the most part. But the last month or so was hard. Despite knowing that the tumor is gone, I got angry that I couldn't really live my life. Instead of talking about it, my way of dealing with it was through not talking about it. During the past few weeks I managed to get even worse at keeping in touch, be it through here, facebook or phone.

The truth is that I considered stopping my treatment after the 6th cycle. My condition requires between 6 and 8 cycles, but all the doctors recommended 8. I was so sick of it, though, that I just wanted it to be done. But then I thought about it and decided to power through it. My reasoning was: if this thing comes back a few years down the road, how much am I going to hate myself for not doing EVERYTHING I could have done? I guess the answer is pretty obvious, eh?

Anyway, I had another chemo session a couple of days ago. As usual, Raquel was there with me. The session itself was quick and pretty painless. I actually thought I was going to get through it without vomiting. I did, though, as soon as I got home. I had my hopes high because my former roommate sent me an article about ginger (thanks Nadia!); according to some study, it reduces the nausea in cancer patients. Although I did feel ill, I think it helped a bit. I feel pretty good right now and I will certainly eat some ginger before my last two chemo sessions.

Yes, 2 to go! I got a hell of a lot to look forward to, that's for sure.

I won't bend. I won't break.